I think this was a fruitful challenge for me, Annie. Thank you! I didn’t even read the post before I knew I needed to write a cretic and what about. It's the only meter or metrical pattern from your anthology in which I’d not yet written. Even though I’ve made tons of revisions, I’m not used to sharing work this new. So I’ll give it a little more time, but I will send it.
thank you Sarah! I know this song well since it is beloved by many witches. How wonderfulthat you heard it in childhood. The rhythm is amphibrachic, you have made me realize--the close sister of Cretics. Thanks again, Annie
Tell Me
Love my words, hate my words.
Tell me what resonates
in your mind, in your gut,
anywhere -- just do not
let me drown, ignorant.
Tell me what moment brushed
nerve or bone? heart of stone?
heard my voice? felt my touch?
anytime -- just do not
silence truth when she calls.
Meter is perfect and i love these lines especially!
Tell me what moment brushed
nerve or bone?
Here’s one I just wrote. Hopefully it’s not to far off.
Cry the tears cry aloud cry again
Daily dose just a tad cry alone
In the end wash the eyes, cleanse the soul
Sit at ease make a room full of joy
thanks! the meter is spot on::)
I know a challenge when I hear one. Challenge accepted. game on!
Here I go again
Mystery
Witch I would Breath of air
Passion draws
Spells exhale If I could
Circle pulls Magic is there
Lone wolf trots Freedom rules
Words will count
Earth’s magic Shared by stars
Power declined A fools choice
But I rejoice
Fear of word Once I scribed
Mage replied
Time too fast Dances past
Quill’s point drawn Finds your flame
Break man’s hold
Wind wends words Full moon frees
Connects all
if you still…Believe
thank you Donna! You nailed the meter. Would be fun to see a revision in longer lines...
I had breaks now every 3 lines
you should be able to edit using the 3 dots :)
Annie Finch
Vultures nest near the dusk
Rising down under spark
Of the moon
Who can rest in the musk
Here in town of the dark
Rusttling tune
Wings in west take the tusk
Wear the gown, strip the bark
Time is soon
Let the pest hide the husk
Turn the frown, like the lark
Sweet the swoon
Mary Meriam
great ending! Thank you Mary:)
The title is your name, also cretin :) Typo in rustling. Thanks for the challenge!
Cretic I meant! sorry
I think this was a fruitful challenge for me, Annie. Thank you! I didn’t even read the post before I knew I needed to write a cretic and what about. It's the only meter or metrical pattern from your anthology in which I’d not yet written. Even though I’ve made tons of revisions, I’m not used to sharing work this new. So I’ll give it a little more time, but I will send it.
I wrote this in the middle of the night when I couldn’t sleep for worrying about the innocent people caught in war:
Evil men bringing war
Raining down like a storm
Fight or flight, wrong or right
Hell on earth, bombs that burst
Not the last, not the first
Tanks and bombs, guns and drones
Watch it all on our phones
Empty mouths, send them south
Watch them flee, watch them run
Back and forth, now go north
Evil men bringing war
Raining down like a storm
thank you Nancy! i hope and trust it was cathartic, it feels like the beginning of a deep-felt spell.
Ooh I’d like to know more about how to finish it off! Maybe the women take over 💕
Wheel of Life
Pouring rain, thunder claps, redwoods snap
Dangers abound, howling wind, weeping willow
Nature sings winter songs, rock and roll
Dams, they rock, waters roll, streets all flood
Lucky us, Spring is near, Sun will shine
Trees will sprout fresh new leaves waving in glee
Every bloom spurs the next, wheel of life
It's not consistently in cretics, but this poem by Ted Berrigan makes good use of it as a recurring free verse foot https://writing.upenn.edu/epc/authors/berrigan/10things.html
yes of course! what a gem!
love it Jer(emy)! thanks so much :)
Here's a poem I tried for this challenge. Not brilliant but a try (and yes, I did steal a couple of phrases from wherever):
Rules for Life
Walk the walk
Talk the talk
Sing the song
Never, ever walk away
Right the wrongs
Live the day
Hear the tunes
Never, ever, walk away
Play your part
Give your heart
Slip the noose
And
Never, ever walk away.
Every night past the veil,
Sight compound, sight reveal
Dark in dreams, language vast,
Beyond mind, whirling past,
Magic rite, sacred rhyme
Endless march, cosmos, time,
Never stops once begun,
Goddess speaks, world undone,
In the scales, planets hang,
Feel it now, something changed,
Known unknown, within me,
Higher now, freer, free!
Never came back to sleep, up and left,
I still think could it be different,
Here in bed, if she was next to me—
Try forgetting, no it’s true I’m alone,
Chanting sad out to her. She just left,
Left our kid with no mom, just a dad.
Hard to say, why still care? Try to not,
I still do. Ramble in hopeless dreams
(She’d still come back to us), time to move
On and start over new, start my life
Raise my kid, quit the drugs, write a poem:
Lend the ear, shadow hear chants of life,
Come inspirit flesh to become what you are,
Vast and strange worlds erupt from the past,
Never claiming what’s been lost, infinite sadness.
Terrible cost, bitter ends, new beginning,
Now to rise from the ash of the former.
Hawk of fire.
Time to grow, time to heal, you’ll recover Braver now for it all. Find a form
To express, ways you feel, Chant, exist,
You are free, heal the wounds by a song.
Not sure if this is right but your poem made me remember this song I heard long ago in my childhood
https://farfringe.com/2018/01/30/stj1073-the-earth-is-our-mother/comment-page-1/
thank you Sarah! I know this song well since it is beloved by many witches. How wonderfulthat you heard it in childhood. The rhythm is amphibrachic, you have made me realize--the close sister of Cretics. Thanks again, Annie